How To Boldly Go After Your Big Dreams

7 years ago I was gearing up to take my final exams to become certified as a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner. I was both nervous and excited.

Listen to the podcast version of this post- Episode #47 : Find A Joy To Be Me on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Stitcher or Spotify 

Nervous about the exam itself, but more so about how on earth I would pave a path to turn my training and certification into an actual money-making career. Excited to leap and see what was possible, excited to do what my soul had called me into.

Let me hit the rewind button for a minute…

Just 3 years prior, (2009) I was getting my resolve to leave my ex for good, and I did. I had become emotionally beaten down, physically drained to my core and somehow had to get up every day to lovingly take care of my 4 boys. My ever declining health made it incredibly hard to figure out how to leave and how I would care for myself and my kids.

I honestly didn't know how bad it was until a month and a half after he was out of the house. Exhaustion doesn't even begin to describe it. I had been sucked dry of all of my life force.  I could barely function, every day required so much effort to get through.

Several months later, things got even worse. I started experiencing extreme reactive hypoglycemia (common in cases of PTSD). I couldn't leave the house without water and snacks in my purse. I would get extremely dizzy, almost daily and even several times a day when it happened. This made me incredibly nervous to drive. Running errands to get things my family needed was unbearably challenging.

Every time I entered any large building with fluorescent lighting, I almost passed out. My vision literally started going blurry and I could barely see straight. I'd be stuck in a large building with 2 small kids in the shopping cart, chugging water to try and get my sight back. That scenario happened many times over many months. I became scared to ever leave the house. How on earth would I be able to hold down a job or even pursue my dreams in such a state?

I also literally had to eat all day long to keep my blood sugar from dropping and feeling weak. My blood sugar was SO low, I had to eat at least every 2 hours to stay stable and steady. I had become a slave to holding myself together, lest I fall totally apart.

This state of health took months and months to get until full control, 6 total to be exact. It was incredibly challenging to deal with all the radical life changes of a split, let alone care for my kids. Two were still at home with me during the day and needed me physically to care for them (ages 2 and 4).

While my health was so volatile I could barely figure out how I was going to find a job that paid enough to cover child care costs. I was terrified of how I would make an income. I had been a stay at home mom for 11 years. The thought of re-entering the regular workforce was daunting to say the least. I didn't want to leave my babies at such a volatile time. I also struggled so much to get through every day due to my poor energy, blood sugar dips, the thought of exerting more energy than I already was daily seemed impossible. Not to mention, I knew I needed a lot of time flexibility to take care of my life situation. Legal meetings, therapy, and more. So much was going on at that time it was incredibly challenging for my worn out body to keep up.

It took me a couple years to recover my health after the split. By recover I mean, no longer experience debilitating fatigue and anxiety. I got my blood sugar under control and no longer had the reactive episodes where I almost passed out. I overcame insomnia. I got rid of severe bloating and finally got some real energy back.

I actually was able to do more than solely care for my physical well being, feed, bathe, clothe and keep my kids safe. I felt well enough to start going to the gym and work out daily. Before that, I couldn't even bounce on a mini trampoline for more than 2 minutes without feeling fatigued. I could barely push my kids in the stroller into town, 2 blocks to Trader Joe's without needing so much time to recover.

During those years while I was healing and researching, I came across a recommendation from Nora Gedgaudas in her book; "Primal Body- Primal Mind", for the Nutritional Therapy Association. I quickly looked it up on the internet, listened to her podcast review -scoured the website enthusiastically … then sat back and said to myself; ‘this is it’. This is the training I want to attend and this is what I want to do. I wanted to help people get their health and their life back.

Rewinding even further back in time… I had discovered a passion for holistic health in my early 20’s and dabbled here and there. It was back then, in the early to mid-90’s, I considered getting trained in the holistic health field. However, very few doable options existed that I could find at the time. So instead, I read every book I could get my hands on. I tried my hand at so many holistic approaches, herbs, supplements, gardening, real food, organic everything, detoxes, cleanses.

I considered other modalities, becoming a chef, a reflexologist, massage therapist, an herbalist, a personal trainer, an MLM member for several companies with more holistic products, volunteering for a CSA… the list could go on. The gist; I craved a path in life that I could help support whole health, both in myself and my family, but also others. I felt I had to figure it out for myself first.

This interest never left me. It wasn’t until I hit this major crossroads in my life I just shared here that I gave myself permission to finally pursue this passion whole heartedly. No one could tell me no anymore, except me. And my health, at that time, was no longer holding me back either.

You see, my entire marriage I never felt I had the support to fully pursue my passions. Money was often stated a key reason why, even though he was allowed to pursue his music passions whenever he wanted. Which felt entirely unfair as I was the one raising the kids and running the household full time, with little time or energy left to pursue anything extra to earn income I could call my own.

There were so many times in my marriage when my passion for holistic health came up and got shut down or was a huge fight. I had minor wins here and there but they came at a huge cost. Such as; getting to join a CSA, and buy our first 1/4 of a grassfed cow,  buying me a laptop so I could start my blog. But, I always had to ask permission which made me feel so incredibly powerless and small.

I was able to dip my toe in a bit over that decade but ultimately felt stifled to even dream bigger or try to move towards my passions.

In the summer of 2011 (a full 2 years after my split and recovering enough to feel empowered to take back my life), I enrolled in the Nutritional Therapy program, paid in full and hit the books. I had already started a health blog, mostly for my own thoughts and to network with other like minded blogs.

I knew I would start my work in the online space so I could be available to my kids. I wanted to create work that gave me time freedom. As a single mom without a supportive co-parent, this was incredibly important to me to create. I also knew my body could not handle the stress of working a full time job outside the home, then coming home to 4 kids every night. My health recovery was also still a priority.

The ultimate dream for me, to be able to put myself out into the world doing work I loved, helping other women heal their bodies, creating time freedom so I could be available to my family and also have the ability to take incredible care of myself while I continued to recover from burnout (PTSD).

No one else thought this was a great plan for me at first. Many people told me I had to get a full time job, put the kids in daycare and even go to school at night (since I had no degree at this point). It’s interesting how easy it is for someone who has never been in your shoes to tell you what is best for you.

I decided not to listen. I was beyond burned out. I had gone through so much trauma, emotional abuse  and I felt I needed to a way to recover AND experience joy, fulfillment and ease in the work I chose to do. I needed to allow myself to pursue my dreams after being told no to every vision I’d had my whole marriage. I also needed to continue to protect my health fiercely.

Even a judge at a child support hearing mocked me and suggested I just get a minimum wage job at McDonalds (of all the places) and work 40 hours a week. She neglected to include the fact I would also have to pay for child care. My income in her model would barely allow me to survive. Not to mention burn my body out even further.

I decided that was not a good idea or the best path for me, so I stuck to my guns and pursued my soul purpose work and dream of being a creative holistic health entrepreneur (which has been an evolution I've discovered over the past 7 years).

That dream seemed far fetched in many ways, but to me it was more radical NOT to follow my soul’s inner guidance. So, I listened and took the leap. After all, my soul had been urging me towards this for decades. It was high time I listened, even though there were still many obstacles on the way.

My biggest obstacle was my own health and my mindset. I’ve shared about this many times (you can read more HERE, HERE and HERE).

My health was a wreck. Once you hit the point of burnout and adrenal exhaustion, you have to adopt a whole new way of life. You have to find creative gentle solutions to support yourself, even while you pursue your big dreams.

Not to mention, burnout (PTSD) impacts your mental and emotional health and well being as well.

I never gave up on my big dreams. They were what fueled and propelled me forward on my entrepreneurial journey. Even despite my struggling health.

Thankfully I’m stubborn that way… because I will be totally honest, it has not been all unicorns and rainbows.

I knew it was possible though. I knew that there was no plan B. I knew that I had a deep calling and purpose and damn it all I was going to actually let myself see where it would take me.

As I reflect back, there were many lessons I’ve learned - one big one… get more support. Get all the support in the world you can and have access to that support and keep getting more support.

Get support so you can see your blind spots. Get support so you can feel massive relief and free up energy to pursue your dream. Get support because you DESERVE it. You are worthy of it. The right support can help you get from surviving to thriving.

Initially it was hard for me to ask for appropriate support, I had become so used to getting shot down.

It took me a LONG time to recover my health. Which made it hard to fully pursue my dream with flow and in a way that was aligned with my ultimate strengths. Truth is, I hustled and will powered my way through the first couple of years of my entrepreneurial journey. There were times my health would crash after hustling hard, I’d end up spending days, weeks, months even trying to pull myself back up.

That certainly was not part of the dream. I sought help and tried to piece meal my health back together time and time again. It wasn’t until I invested deeply in the most support I’d ever allowed myself to have both time and finance wise -that I was really able to move the needle and keep it moved.

It took a life coach, a transformation coach, an energy worker, a local massage therapist and me pulling back from the hours I was putting in to recover enough to finally step into my dream in the most authentic way. It also required me getting support for my business and getting mindset coaching.

I’m sharing this with you in case you have a dream, a calling, a soul urging that you deeply long to fulfill but your health problems are getting in the way.

You see, when you lack energy and are in pain your nervous system kicks in to try and protect you. So many times, I speak with women who have failing health that has been a struggle for years. Women who are longing to be and do more with their life yet held back due to stress, anxiety, lack of energy, poor moods and more. This health decline sucks away at their soul purpose -draining the energy right out of any possible attempt at moving towards them.

They feel they can’t pursue their dreams as fully as they would like to. Let alone even allow themselves to actually dream for fear those dreams will instantly be held off due to their health problems.

I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be like that. You can have both. You can have your dreams and vibrant health as well. You can move towards both at the same time. You can do it better and faster when you give yourself permission to invest in the right support.

Is your health getting in the way of your dreams?

If you know deep down you have a big dream, one where you are fulfilling your soul purpose work in this world and truly making an impact in the lives of others - here are a few key take-aways I want to leave you with.

1. Let Yourself Dream - Give yourself permission.

One of my biggest gifts is that I am a visionary first and a creative second.
When I learned this about myself, it all made sense and then I created appropriate ways to allow myself to have the space and time to dream.

I’ve shared what works for me before on the blog (HERE and HERE). My methods may or may not work for you. The important thing is to figure out when you feel most inspired, excited or what you feel most passionate about.

Is there a common theme you’ve noticed in your life, something you are drawn to. Something you fantasize about, something that keeps you up at night or draws your attention. Something that fascinates you. If you could sit down and write what it is you want right now in your life over the next 6 months, 1 year or even 3 years -what would it be?

Let yourself get carried away without worrying about the how. Write it down. See how it makes you feel. If you feel both nervous and excited, pay attention you are onto something. It all starts with acknowledging the dream, letting it come out of you so it can start to take shape in the world.

2. Get Support

Once you know you have a big dream, you’ve accepted it, gotten excited about it it’s time to get the right support.

If your partner/spouse, family or friends do not understand, listen or support your dreams find someone who will. You may even need to invest in a coach, mentor, therapist. You can even start by taking a class doing that thing you love so you can hang out with cool like-minded people with a similar vision or dream as you. Find the support you need to help you move forward instead of just hiding that dream away. Your growth into your wildest dreams depends on you tuning in to what you need and asking for help.

Remember they are YOUR dreams, no one elses. Your dreams are never wrong and there is always someone else who can support you in your pursuit of them. The right support is an incredible gift you can give yourself, despite what anyone else may think.

3. Take Baby Steps Now

Action creates clarity. Waiting for the stars to align won’t create clarity only regret. Your purpose is calling you because it wants to be fulfilled. It’s meant to be shared. On the planet. While you are alive. Not someday when you have more money or no more health issues. This day - today. Now.

You may have some trial and error actions to take first too. So focus on progress towards your big dreams as best as you can understand them now. I shared my story about how I dabbled until I had more clarity and then had my this is it moment. I’ve had several more ‘this is it’ moments since and a lot more dabbling. I’m grateful I listened and took those actions. Every action you take will give you feedback. No action, no feedback. If you focus on perfection you will miss out. Focus on getting more in tune with your dreams, and the more you do the more you will know what actions to take to move towards them.

The answer to all struggle is surrender. After reading this post today, how can you let go of the fears you have and what is the next best step for you to take from this place of surrender?



Now I would love to hear from you... Tell me, do you have big dreams you’ve been longing to go for? Has your health or your mindset been a barrier to moving toward those dreams? I love helping women whose health problems are getting in the way of their big soul-felt dreams. The dreams that lead them to sharing their powerful, unique gifts with the world and making an incredible impact.

If you feel connected to my work and would like support with your health so you can pursue your creative soulfelt dreams, I invite you to book a breakthrough session with me today. We'll get on the phone and discuss your happiest outcome for your health and dreams right now, and if I believe I can support you in that, I'll share how.