You Are Calm, Courageous And A Force To Be Reckoned With

I’m celebrating overcoming a HUGE obstacle in my life. One that has been a long time coming, one that I finally shifted to see as an opportunity for my own growth. And boy did I learn some powerful lessons as I worked through this seemingly insurmountable barrier, let me tell you.

I learned more about my own inner strength and abilities in the past 2 years as I worked through this particular challenge. It was a hard earned lesson for sure, one that was incredibly painful but so necessary.

Now I can feel the liberation, like having climbed to the top of a mountain and looking at the breathtaking views. All the struggles I faced along the way were worth it and fading into the background, as I now revel in what they allowed me to overcome and accomplish.

And I wanted to share some of those lessons with you today as I reflect back on what I conquered.

The first is, that we all have obstacles in our lives. Some little, some seemingly massive and impossible. These obstacles are a normal part of life and there is no shame to be had in light of them. For me, shame is an all too familiar companion, one that I am learning to make peace with. One that I am learning to show love to, so I can meet the real root behind it’s existence.

Often times you and I, assign far more meaning to our obstacles or personal challenges than we need to. So, if that’s you, please be gentle with yourself and keep reading.

Your obstacles are always opportunities to grow and learn.

You need to know that you CAN endure life’s obstacles and challenges. You already have the inner resources you need, you just need to tap into them.

I’ve shared countless ways to better support yourself with all my posts on self-love and self-care. This is yet another reason why those things matter and are something to practice daily. You will learn to tap into your inner courage and be able face your obstacles with a zen like attitude.

Your radical self-care practices and habits will help you to be better fueled by your inner strength and personal power, instead of feeling a need to control your life with excessive outward or external force.

When you allow your inner strength to be the one in charge, it will give you confidence to overcome any growing fears, challenges or doubts you might notice. You’ll be able to; ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’!

If your obstacle shows up when you have been going through a rough time and are burnt out or stressed. Your inner calm will remind you to find the power within yourself to persevere. You will trust that you have got what it takes to see this situation through to its eventual end.

Your inner zen warrior self will learn to tame your raw animal instincts. Those triggers or reactions you experience here and there, you’ll be able to channel them more constructively.

Let’s be honest… it is NORMAL to feel things such as anger, rage, sadness, guilt, shame to show their faces when obstacles arise. However, it’s what you do with these emotions that makes ALL. THE. DIFFERENCE.

So, next time they show up, just notice them. See what they are trying to show you. Give them the love they need. Be conscious of them so you can balance them for the greater good, yours and all others involved.

Find healthy ways to allow yourself to process ALL your emotions. Let them actually arise and come out so you can FEEL them fully, learn from them and then integrate them so you can heal and grow.

Trust me, acting out when you are in a rage won’t serve you, or anyone else. I promise.

Breathe and find a healthy way to process that rage if it shows itself on your journey. The same goes for shame. When you act from shame, you tend to play a smaller game. The world needs you to not shrink back my friend. You can overcome and you can rise up!

You can always approach your current obstacles or difficulties from a place of forgiveness, love and compassion. If you struggle to do this on your own, find a trusted friend, mentor, coach or therapist to help you creating coping strategies. You are so worth that extra support and love!

Sometimes your obstacles need you to play the long game. If you are in a hurry, you are not aligned. You are working from fear and allowing your nervous system to be in reactivity, fight or flight mode. It’s important to approach any difficult situation with patience and conviction. This gentle fierceness, allows you to use your energy wisely. Remain calm, stay in parasympathetic so you can heal and not inflame matters more.

It is so important to learn to conserve your energy by working WITH your obstacles, not AGAINST them!

Meaningful changes take time. My obstacle, the one I’m now celebrating, required me to change some of my mindsets and my habits. It also taught me to have more patience to hold space for others in how they were affected by my obstacle. I had to learn to have the courage to keep facing any challenges that came up along the way. As well as the fortitude to keep showing up, no matter what setbacks I encountered.

When you are simultaneously calm and courageous, you are truly a force to be reckoned with.

Overcoming big obstacles in your life requires STRONG BOUNDARIES. You have to learn to not tolerate any shit. I now see obstacles in a whole new way. They aren’t in my way, they can help me get on my way towards what I really want in life. This is where I got to develop my inner courage and resolve.

I  still remember hearing a teaching many moons ago titled, what you tolerate dominates. It’s what helped to empower me to get out of a very unhealthy marriage that was beyond repair. It’s what helped me leave a church that was abusing it’s power. It’s what helped me to walk away from so many things in my life that were no longer serving me.

It’s what cracked me open to not sit quietly by and do what everyone else was doing. I also grew my courage muscle to give myself permission to stop letting others put expectations on me and listened to my own inner expectations.

Ladies, how many of you hear everyone else’s voice in your head more loudly than your own?

This was my dilemma for the majority of my life, one that I am still learning to shift away from so I can be brave and listen to my own inner voice.

Doing meaningful things, such as;  rising up from divorce, overcoming verbal-emotional-spiritual abuse, recovering from trauma/PTSD, leaving religion and ‘the church’, starting a whole new life path, creating your own ‘career’ that doesn’t already exist in the world, raising 4 kids on your own with no help and getting out of debt, requires incredible conviction.

Many of my obstacles over the years have been recovering from my past and learning to believe in myself. They required and allowed me to lean into being brave, but first that took incredible vulnerability. I had to face my inner demons which felt like the biggest challenge of all.

I’m sure you have your list of hurdles in life, those were part of mine. Part of your self-discovery through obstacles on your path is learning to TRUST when to defy all hurdles, but also trusting when your energy is better spent elsewhere.

I spent a lot of time and energy trying to FIGHT against my obstacles in the past. The kind of fighting that focused on forcing the issue in a way that was not effective. The ‘reactive’ kind of fighting energy. That my friends, will burn you out.

I did that because I didn’t trust I could overcome. I didn’t trust I had the inner resources to patiently live in a world that logically defied my beliefs and what I wanted for myself. I was afraid, fearful. Not able to see a way through, only able to see the problems looming large, like a scary monster. Have you ever felt that way when facing your challenges in life?

Having the courage of one's convictions definition from dictionary.com:  the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

I’ll go one further and say that I felt the fear, oh boy did I ever. BUT in order to press on, I had to feel the fear, own the fear, work through the fear, listen to what it was really saying and take action anyway. Bravery doesn’t mean you don’t ‘feel fear’ or hear voices of fear. No, it means you learn to honor your fear for what it is and not let it stop you ON YOUR WAY.

A lot of times your fear is really just your lack of self-esteem or your self-doubt rearing it’s ugly head. You get to listen to that and release it my friends. Let it go!

You know this. You know that it’s part of the human experience. Let this just remind you.

Shifting Your Mindset, Liberates You

Can I be honest? My own mindset has kept me many times from living my life more fully, freely and joyfully.

I experienced so much inner turmoil as a result of listening to my negative thoughts, limiting beliefs and shame stories. There have been many times when my negative thoughts led me into a downward spiral of despair and anxiety that contradicted reality. I have learned that I have made things out to be much worse than they really were. Have you ever done this?

Thankfully, I learned to confide in others that felt truly safe. I used to keep my worries private, that was a learned behavior that stemmed from my childhood. From not having adults with the emotional bandwidth to truly ‘hear me’ and allow me to process in a safe nurturing environment. I also struggled to trust people after my experience with the church and my ex. Phfew, a lot to overcome!

BUT, the good news is, even if you have been abused, mistreated, misunderstood, traumatized there are still SAFE people out there for you to confide in. And let me tell you, you NEED them. These safe people; whether they are friends, counselors, therapists, EFT workers, coaches, support groups, will offer you a new perspective, or even just a place to vent, that will ease some of the stress and tension.

Any obstacle in life is there for you to learn from, to see how what it can teach you. Sometimes you may contribute to making your obstacles seem worse or more challenging.

Notice if this is true for you, it sure was for me. I told myself a lot of stories about my struggle to feel acceptable, to self-protect my wounded ego.

I love how Brene Brown say's it in her book, Rising Strong; ' The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or acceptable, but our wholeness, even our wholeheartedness actually depends on the integration of all our experiences including the falls.'

When you and I can be vulnerable and honest with ourselves and others about our struggles, overcome our mistakes and face our hurts, we are truly choosing to brave. This bravery and courage helps to radically transform not only your own life, but others as well.

I want to leave you with a couple of simple tools you can use or implement, if you are currently in the midst of a challenge or struggle.

First, definitely read 'Rising Strong' by Brene Brown. I believe it will empower you to be a little more courageous on your path right now.

Second, use this meditation to take some time for yourself the next time you feel overwhelmed by your current struggle. As you know, I'm a big believe in countering stress with meditative practices to support your nervous system and shift your mind. This meditation is quite relaxing and calming. It's just about 12 minutes long and can fit into your busy day to help you shift.

And finally, I love using essential oils to help support the body and the mood. One of my favorite blends is called, Uplift.

UPLIFT™ was specifically formulated with oils that assist in building courage, confidence, self-esteem and returning a sense of calm, joy and peace to our lives.  It inspires hope in those who have temporarily lost their optimism and helps users to overcome their fear and reclaim their potential.  When we have more courage to take on new things and/or change, we are better able to release old patterns that are not working for us.

Essential oils have been a big part of my personal healing journey, they provide such a powerful support. If you have not yet, give them a try, particularly this blend, Uplift. You can learn more about how to use it on the website.

If you are looking for support with a mentor and coach to empower you further than you can on  your own, I invite you to book a breakthrough session with me. A breakthrough session is designed to provide you with clarity, confidence and effective tools to move beyond the challenges you are facing (in your health or life) and a simple action plan to follow so you can start creating a life you love.

Now, I would love to hear from you … have you learned how to navigate life's obstacles with courage? Did this post resonate with you in any way? Share in the comments below…