Your self-doubt has a message for you

Self doubt: Why do you doubt yourself?

For me it was conditioning from childhood. I didn’t feel like I was worth much of anything for various reasons.

But now that I’m an adult it’s my job to parent myself out of that conditioning and mind space.

Here’s the thing; you and I each were meant for something special while we live and breath on the planet. You and I, we each have our own purpose, calling, darma, gifts…

And deep inside you and I know our deepest gifts are there, even if we don’t see them yet.

Your life purpose, your gifts, your dreams, whatever they are - are MEANT to come out of you and into this 3 dimensional world. And because of that, you will sense a deep inner ache until they flow freely.

It’s much like the primal urge to mate or to procreate.

Because you have your own creative gift or purpose and I have mine -we all do, there is no need to doubt it’s there. It just IS. Something that is your unique gift, message, art that you get to contribute to the world in your living breathing lifetime.

If you can’t figure this out, your body will show you. Your body will hint and give you clues in the form of stagnation : it may slow down, feel lethargic or depressed even. The longer this goes on the louder your body will get - it may scream at you in discomfort or pain.

I’ve been there many times in my life. I can still remember the summer of 2016 - I was crippled with depression. Heavily weighed down so much so I could not get out of my bed and do much of anything. I knew deep down there was so much more for me and I wasn’t sure HOW or when I’d have it. I also didn’t give myself permission to live -like really live, explore life and enjoy it. I felt like I was doomed to oppression.

But thankfully that lifted once I got out of my head and into my heart and let myself dream and gave myself permission to start having what I wanted.

I got the fuck out of my bed, my comfort zone that was ‘keeping me safe’ (or so, I perceived) and made a bucket list and actually started to take actions towards what was on it. I did things I never did before in my life, things I was too chicken shit to do because I didn’t feel I was worth the effort. Not only that I didn’t even enjoy my own company enough to go out and BE in the world as me without tagging along someone else’s ideas or lead.

I also started to MOVE my body again. Let me tell you, sitting on your ass in your bed bingeing Netflix and crying for 5 weeks straight is rough… I gained 12 lbs. My body was clueing me in that something wasn’t right.

That all changed fast, when I decided to stop feeling sad about how my life was going as if I had no choice or say in the matter. I lost the weight easily. My energy sky rocketed.

I decided to fall in love with life instead of feel like life wasn’t for me, or it was against me or something I realized I could go out and make my own life happen for me. Let go of idealistic pursuits and just daily fucking LIVE my life. Not some day, but today!

TODAY is all you and I have - the present moment is all you and I have. Right now.

If you were to seize life this way, knowing all I have is really happening right now -wouldn’t you make different choices? Wouldn’t you want to embrace the time you have and enjoy the fuck out of it?

I don’t know about you, but that took me out of zombie land of living a life I didn’t think I had much say in at that moment. It took me out of self-pity and woe and into ‘let me see what happens’ when I stop taking things so seriously and start actually choosing to give myself more of what I want, more of what I desire, more of what brings me pleasure.

Pleasure is one of the most indulgent joyful things to feel and bask in… the more you enjoy your pleasure and give yourself pleasure, the more FULLY you enjoy this one life you get to live.

If you’re gonna take anything seriously, let it be your pleasure. Cause lord knows we’ve seen enough oppression and martyrdom in this world. When you choose to make your pleasure your priority it’s a gift not only to you but to others in your life and that can start a ripple effect that could impact more lives than you realize (if making an impact is your thing that is…).

Even still YOUR PLEASURE is a divine gift… don’t fucking waste it.

The more you allow yourself to enjoy your life, prioritize your pleasure the more pleasure you will attract into your life. You will expand to receive more pleasure than you could have ever imagined.

So, what are you waiting around for? What’s holding you back from full out living life like your pleasure matters and is a fucking glorious gift from the heavens?

It’s ok to be indulgent… I don’t mean the unhealthy kind of indulgence that isn’t real pleasure or that hurts your body/soul/mind. The indulgence that you use to mask your pain, I mean the indulgence that comes from you knowing you are worthy and deserving of it.

Indulgent in that extra time you enjoy doing what you love, prioritize YOUR desires not just your duties. Your duties will be more doable and a breeze when your pleasure is met and it nourishes you so much you get your work done with greater ease.

Pleasure… what brings you pleasure? Give yourself permission today to do more of it. Don’t overthink. Just take a deep breath and write down what you want most today -then give it to yourself.

You are what you repeat!
You are what you repeat!
You are what you repeat!

If this post resonated and you know you need a coach or mentor right now, feel free to sign up for a breakthrough session with me.This session is an incredibly powerful life changing time. I'll empower you to breakthrough your own limitations and get back to living your dream life.